Oh internet, how I missed you so!

Have you ever wondered how reliant we have become on the internet?  I had to go without it all day yesterday (and a few hours the night before) because we don't have our own internet connection - we share with my dad (he's my neighbor) - and sometimes we just don't have a connection and can do nothing about it!  I have bugged my husband many, many times about getting our very own internet connection, but he always says it's too expensive when we can get our for free - grrr!!  For the most part I don't care that we don't have our own, but it's kind of like air conditioning, you could care less if you have it for 361 days a year, but on those four days that you just can't stand to be in your house you are begging for it!!  A person really doesn't realize how much we rely on having that internet connection until it's gone (but you still have a computer sitting in front of you that just can't connect).  Everytime I walked past my computer yesterday I would check to see if it was working - and it never was.  Finally, when it worked very late last night, I kicked my teenage daughter off the computer so I could "just check Facebook", and guess what?  I had NO new notifications, NO new messages, only 312 updates that I could really care less about (no offense if you posted one of those 312)!  I read about the woman I know who cooked, did laundry and took her kids to their activites all in the same day; I read about the guy who went ice fishing; I read about the woman who's baby had poop all over her pj's; I read about the girl who's boyfriend dumped her.  I COULD CARE LESS...but I keep coming back for more!  I know I am not alone in this, I know that millions of other people feel the same way, but for some reason we can't seem to pull ourselves away from our computers.  I am guilty of putting all my dirty laundry on Facebook for the world to see (or atleast my 64 friends) and am guilty of enjoying the feedback I receive from all those who see it.  We are all a little narcissistic if you ask me.  There are a couple of "friends" who I keep on strictly for entertainment value - they have the most ridiculous status updates, but I can't seem to get rid of them!  I have left Facebook twice and have got sucked back in both times...I have changed accounts and got rid of friends...I just can't leave though; I am hooked - it's nickname "crackbook" was given for a reason!!

I have found another computerized machine (well, two actually) that I am totally addicted to right now!  I got a brand spanking new washing maching and dryer last weekend!!  You may not think that is anything to write home about, but let me tell you how much I love these things!!!  First of all, they are BEAUTIFUL - Midnight Blue - front loaders with pedestals and they look so good in front of my yellow laundry room walls!  Part of the reason I love these so much is because I waited a darn long time to get them!  We built a new house three years ago and I really wanted to leave our old set in the old house, but my husband said we can't afford new machines when we have so much else to pay for (he says this a lot), so I waited with bated breath for the day when I would get my new set - I know many women would tell me that they went their whole lives with the old set I had, but I am just on the edge of "Generation Me", so I will admit to being a little bit selfish with this profound want of mine! I would go into Sears and walk around the appliance department fantasizing about filling these big machines with all my towels and socks and undies - do you have any idea how many towels you can fit into these monstrous machines?!?! - and dreaming that one day I would press buttons instead of cranking knobs to turn them on.  Well, that day finally came, after we decided to forgo one of my closest friends destination wedding, we had enough money to buy the machines (according to Greg we don't actually) and we went down to Sears to look at what was available.  They are all computerized - buttons that play jingles, flashing lights to signal what stage they are at, timers on screens to show the countdown to clean clothes. 

Am I in love with these magnificent machines?  Yes, I am! 

Laundry has become a new hobby of mine thanks to these fantastic machines!

Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I am not very good at using computers - besides the basic emailing or Facebook checking!  I can't use Excel to save my life - if you put a gun to my head and told me to make you a spreadsheet, you might as well just pull the trigger!  I don't like it when things go wrong with my computer because I haven't the foggiest idea how to fix it, and I have found that just the slip of a finger can make something go terribly wrong with a computer.  What amazes me though is the young kids who can use these computers with ease by the age of 2...take my youngest child for example, at 3 years old he can start a computer, log on, select a webiste and navigate his way through it like he has been doing this for twenty years!  Can you even imagine what these children are going to be like whent they are adults??  My teenager can type so fast it makes my head spin and of course I am sure she knows things about the computer that I didn't even know existed; There are many, many things on the computer that I hope she doesn't yet know exist!!! 

Well, I should probably get my butt up from this computer and make my kids some lunch so I can nourish their little brains, so they can become brilliant computer programmers when they grow up and make lots of money so they can take of me when I am old!

SJ

Motherhood...a very competitive sport!

I have been thinking a lot lately about how we as mothers seem to compete against eachother (usually without even realizing it) instead of rallying around eachother.  I have a very unique perspective when it comes to motherhood; My oldest daughter is 17 years old - older now than I was when I had her - and my youngest is 3 years old, with a 5 and 7 year old in the middle of them.  Not only have I had 17 years of parenting under my belt, I have seen how parenting has changed since the dawn of the internet and how it changes when you go from being a working mom to a stay at home mom.  I have had my fair share of playdates and I am pretty sure I can tell you how each woman I know gave birth: epidural, c-section, long labour, big/small baby, etc., etc., because that always seems to come up when a group of pre-school age mothers are sitting around a room!!  We also seem to feel the need to compare all of our children to the other kids in the room - she was talking by 9 months, he was walking by 13 months, ate nothing but organic homemade baby food, wore cloth vs disposable, didn't drink juice until 2 years old, doesn't watch any t.v., can speak spanish (not becasue of Dora though, cause there is no t.v. for little Johnny), and the list goes on and on and on.  It can be overwhelming trying to keep up with whats the new and best way to parent your child.  God forbid you admit to spanking your child, giving them kool-aid in a sippy cup and letting them watch t.v. for two hours so you can watch Dr. Phil and Oprah!!  Those who know me well can tell you that I have a pretty laid back attitude to raising kids - my three year old isn't potty trained yet and still has a soother when he feels the need - but I think they will also tell you that I have a very happy home where there isn't a lot of pressure for children to be anything but children and it's okay to make messes, have fun and do what all children are supposed to do - just play!! 

I mentioned how the internet has changed the way we parent...you have no idea how much unless you were a parent before the internet!  I remember when Natalie was born - 1993 - and I think the internet was actually around, but nobody really new because you were lucky to have a computer in your house let alone   in your pocket or purse - heck, the only cell phones then were tucked away in gigantic bags on the floor of a few vehicles.  As a mother back in "those days" (I can't imagine being a mother in the '80's!!) we had to rely on the women we actually new in person - not facebook, not on blogs, not anywhere in the world wide web - just our own mohters, friends, community.  If we had a question because our child had a fever, we went to the doctor; if we needed to know when to start them on pablum, we asked our mothers (it was about 4 months old back then); if we needed to know what kind of carseat fit best, we went to the health unit...we didn't have thousands of different sites to look on!  Since I had Mark (seven year old) I have checked more websites containing information about baby food, carseats, strollers, fevers, immunizations, diaper rash, than I care to even think about!  The internet has also had one HUGE effect on us that has changed the way we parent our children...it has created a world where we are so scared of everything and everyone.  It seems that no child can go to their neighborhood playground alone or walk to a friends house two blocks away because there might be a stranger ready to snatch them up or hurt them in some way; I don't believe there are any more pediphiles or kidnappers in this world than there were 20 years ago...we just think there are because everytime you boot up your computer there is 24 hour news coverage telling you that some poor child has been hurt or abducted (only thing is, it's the same news over and over and over again)!  I still believe our world is safe and our children should grow up with enough independence to make them independent when they grow up and really need to be!!

I know my way of doing things or my beliefs are not everyones cup of tea, but they work well for me and my family.  I think if we all accept that we are all different people in the same boat we could become a very powerful group of people - Moms - accepting, not competing! 

SJ

P.S. I vow right now not to talk about the birth of my children unless directly asked about it!!

Proof that I am a mother!

Happiness is all we need.

Well, it's been a little while since I last posted anything on here, but I am back!  I have been thinking a lot lately about happiness and what we do to try to reach it - or if we will ever really find it.  I believe happiness is staring us right in the face but we are too blinded by all the hoopla about skinny jeans and Jenny Craig to realize that what we have is all we need to really make us happy.

I have a blessed life - a husband who loves me exactly for who I am and what I look like; four of the world's greatest kids who love me unconditionally (and I think really love the fact that I am "soft" to snuggle with); parents (three sets) who have never once made me feel like I am anything but wonderful; sisters and brothers who are always there for me; friends who seem too good to be true; and then their are all the material things that I have but certainly don't need.  Who in their right mind wouldn't be the happiest person in the world with a list like that?  I have always been a happy person, however sometimes I think I talk myself into believing I would be happier if only I could weigh a certain amount.  Guess what?  One year ago I was in a weight loss class at Curves - thirty pounds ago!!!  I wasn't happy then because I thought I weighed too much, well if that is the case I must have severe depression right now!! LOL  Anyway, my point is that I am no longer going to be unhappy with myself when there is nothing to be unhappy about.  I will accept the fact that I can no longer fit into my smaller pants and go buy some bigger ones - because I remember my little sister saying once that anyone at any size can look good - as long as they dress to fit their size (I think Stacy & Clinton from TLC say the same thing).  Imagine how good I will look if I go to the store and accept the fact that I might have to move up to the next size and buy some really amazing clothes and have the attitude that I look darn good in clothes that fit!!

I must still have that certain something though because I was in Home Depot the other day with a part from my kitchen sink and as I was walking past the paint department a young man piped up and asked if he could help me and when I said no, I was simply here for my sink - not paint, he asked a couple more times in different ways if he could be of any assistance!!  Perhaps he is Sir Mix Alots half brother or something (go ahead and start singing)!!! 

I have also decided to change the name of this blog.  I think there are many other things in this world - my world in particular - that are interesting and worthy of writing about.  I have found this blog to be very theraputic in some ways (I guess it's like a diary) and enjoy adding to it.  I will still write about my weight loss, but will write more about life and all the happenings of my days as a mom, wife and woman.

SJ

Is my life really that boring?

Well you could say that this whole weight loss thing has been a big fat flop!  I have officially lost half a pound since starting...though I guess if you count the three I went up and down twice and the half that I have officially lost, I would be at 6.5...so I guess it's not as bad as it seems!  I have figured out why I eat so much all the time - I'm BORED!!  I am sure that about 66 million other women can say that same thing and if you know me and my world you might wonder how in the world I can be bored considering I have anywhere between 2 - 7 minors in my house at a time (8 this morning because the bus got stuck in the snow for an hour on it's way to my house).  If you ever watched Jon & Kate Plus 8 you may know that my world looks like this everyday:

 (we'll take an average of 5 kids)

25 plates full of food

25 glasses of milk, juice or water

20 diapers

4 naps (thank God)

625 toys to step on or over (and then pick up)

25 hand and mouth wipes

15 nose blows

4 soother searches

4 missing sippy cups

5 crafts (with glue, glitter and crayons)

2 dishwashers to unload/load

5 kids to dress up to take outside

5 kids to undress to come inside

3 baths (now we are into the evening with just my little kids)

1 ornery teenager

3 bedtime stories

3 teeth brushings

1 very big house to clean up

1 very tired mom

Anyway, in all of this excitement I do not see one single human being over three feet tall!!!  Yes, I do talk to people on the phone each day, but that is not the same as actually seeing the face of a human adult and talking about things other than poo and spilled milk.  My husband works very long hours and usually does not come home until we are just finishing supper or even working on the bedtime routine.  I have made the choice to stay home with my children and to open my house as a day home, and in no way am I saying that I am not happy with my choices, however I am sure that even an inmate in a supermax prison would tell you that being in general population is better that solitary confinement!  I love my job as a stay-at-home mom (and I have done it the other way where I worked outside the house) and I wouldn't change it for anything right now, I just get a little bored talking to myself and find that food seems to fill that void.

I am still very tired and still hoping the doctor will call to tell me he will up my Synthroid dose!  I might have to start drinking coffee and see what all the buzz is about!  My friend told me yesterday that she went to the gym in the morning the other day...not sure if that meant 5:30 a.m. or 8:00 a.m., and for a second I thought that I could start going at 5:30 a.m. and then I remembered that I can't even pull myself out of bed to walk on my treadmill in my basement at that time...did I seriously think I could get into town to work out??  I think I have to just get on track with the eating issue first and think about working out later!  In regards to the eating thing though, I really want to just be able to look at the freshly baked muffins on my counter and say 'no, I think I will just have an apple instead' or bake cookies with with kids and only have one; how do all the skinny girls do it?? 

I have been drinking my iced tea too much lately too.  I am addicted to it, just like people are addicted to smoking, drinking or drugs...mine is Good Host Iced Tea!!  I even had to have a friend pick it up for me and bring me some because I had too many kids to go to the store!  I know it's not good for me, but I can't help it - I drink it when I am thristy, I drink it when I am stressed, I drink it sometimes cause it just tastes good!  Oh, there are so many things contributing to my weight issues...maybe I just need a whole bunch of money to get some liposuction instead!  Perhaps I could get a reality show like Kate Gosselin with my umpteen kids and have someone make me over too!!

SJ

Blizzards

Yesterday I took my daughter to buy her grad dress!!  We drove to Edmonton and hit two blizzards - on the way there it was the snow kind, on the way home it was the Oreo kind!!!  Let me start at the beginning though...we left Vermilion at 10:00 a.m. and drove through some pretty yucky weather!  We stopped halfway at Tim Hortons for a pee break and a snack - a chocolate chip muffin - and thank goodness that we did because I didn't eat again until supper!  We arrived at Costco first before we hit the dreaded West Edmonton Mall...well, Costco was pretty much as dreadful as the big mall.  I am not sure how many idiots can fit in one giant parking lot at a time, but I think I counted about 100 yesterday!!  I should have had something to eat for lunch there because I was starved by the time we actually did eat - I will get to that in a bit though.

We arrived at WEM and since the weather outside was frightful (you can sing the rest of that song if you like) we decided that best place to park was in the covered parkade...along with the other 200,000 people there!!  We drove and we drove and we drove until we found a spot at enterance number 56 and the shop we were going to was at enterance 31 so I figured we couldn't be too far from it. HAHAHAHAHA!  I think we walked about three miles to get there (which was really probably a good thing after you hear about my supper).  We found the store we were looking for - Mina's Bridal and Prom (I really shouldn't be giving them any free advertising since they don't really deserve it) a teeny tiny little store with about 500 not-so-teeny-tiny prom dresses!!!  If you are claustrophobic, I don't recommend this store.  Anyway, my graduate-to-be tried on about ten different dresses with the first one being the one of course - I think every bride or girl looking for a prom dress should just take the first one they try on because it's Murphy's law that it's the one you will end up taking!  Anyway, after carrying 20 lb dresses back and forth through the throng of other dresses and walking 3 miles through WEM I figured a few calories had been burned; the thought slipped my mind though after I looked in the three way mirror in the store - are my hips and thighs seriously that big!?!?!  In case you are wondering, we left the store with a 20 lb dress in hand - it fit like a glove, and the thought of going back there terrified me, so I payed in full (a rediculous amount of money) and we took it home - and made our way back to the parking lot to go find some supper!

We stopped at the Outback Steak House for supper (YUM) and I was SOOOOOOO hungry I could have eaten my left arm, so as soon as the girl came around I ordered a ceaser salad to start; she then told us that she would bring the free bread out right away...oh ya, I forgot about the free bread!  So, I chugged my gingerale and scarfed down my salad and bread, and I was actually getting a little full at that point...but then she asked what we want to order.  Steak sandwich - medium - with fries and gravy of course!  When she brought me the plate and I cut into the steak it looked like I just the severed the cows artery!!  I asked her to take it back and cook it just a little more, so she took the steak on a little plate and left me with the garlic toast and fries...so I ate the garlic toast and most of the fries as I waited for the new steak.  She soon came back with an ENTIRE NEW MEAL!!  Here I was so full from my salad, bread, garlic toast and fries and I was staring at a big plate of steak, fries and garlic toast - so I ate it!!  I couldn't finish it all of course, but I did my best and let me tell you, I thought my stomach was going to explode!!  Any thought of dessert that I may have had was out the door at that point.  We left the restaurant with sore bellies and a long drive home, but at least the blizzard was over - the snow kind at that is.

At the half way point we pulled into the DQ parking lot for a pee break and the much wanted dessert.  Do you know they now sell mini-blizzards!  I am sure they are very cute, but in my hands I held a medium Oreo blizzard and enjoyed every bite of it!!  I haven't stepped on the scale yet this morning, but I am sure it is not going to greet me with any good news, which is probably the exact reason why I haven't stepped on it yet!  I will though and I will get myself back on track today.  No more trips to buy grad dresses for me for another 12 years and hopefully when we go back at that point two things will have happened:

1. I will not have these hips and thighs when I look in the three way mirror.

2. The style of the prom dress will change so it does not weigh 20 lb!!

SJ

Good Bad Day!

Well I have not had the best day today...in terms of eating that is; I had a day off today, went for lunch with my husband, went shopping, watched Dr. Phil & Oprah, so in terms of the day itself, it has been great!!  It started off good with my healthy breakfast but then lunch came and I went to a restaurant and ordered the steak sandwich with fries - and of course it comes with garlic toast - and I ate almost all of it!  I did consider ordering a salad too (ceasar of course) but then decided it would only add calories to my already ridiculously high calorie meal, so I skipped it!  I decided when I got home I would have just four Toffifee - can you even believe that I still have some left - plus a brownie and muffin.  I just made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and I am drinking my iced tea as I type, so like I said it's not that great of a day for eating!  It just happens to be that very special time in my month, so perhaps that is why I am feeling the need to eat everything in sight...or maybe it's just because it's Friday!

I also went to have my blood taken to have my Thyroid checked again - they will do this every three months for the next year - and I am guessing that they will call me next week and tell me that it is low.  I have been so tired I would guess I was pregnant if I didn't know better!!  Speaking of being tired, let me tell you about my day yesterday...FIVE little boys THREE years and under!!!  I love kids, love having kids, love having a day home, but there are some things that really are best on a casual basis...that is one of them!  The fact that I didn't lose even one ounce yesterday after chasing that many boys around my house all day long and eating like a champ makes me believe that my thryroid is just a little out of wack!  Just as a point of interest, not one of those five boys is potty trained yet!!  You can just imagine all the diapers I donated to the land fills in one day!!

Tomorrow is a very exciting day for me as I am taking my oldest daughter to look for a Grad dress!!  Perhaps I will burn off my Tim Hortons from breakfast by walking around West Edmonton Mall all day!!  The only problem with going to the city for a day is that there is food everywhere you turn and for some reason I can't turn down a nice restaurant at the end of a shopping day...and I can never seem to just order a salad at that nice restaurant, nor can I skip dessert!  I will get back to my diet on Sunday.

SJ

Are my hips really this big??

Here's a riddle for you - what happens to a women who is standing in line at Wal-Mart for 20 minutes with a rumbling stomach?  Answer: She succumbs to the the temtation only metres away...McDonalds!!!  First of all I would like to say that it is crazy for Wal-Mart to only have four tills open when it is so busy and second, why does McDonalds food have to smell (and taste) so good???  I worked at a McDonald for 7.5 years when I was young - starting at 14 years old - and never got sick of their food!  In fact, if I had to pick my last meal (you know, if I was on death row or something), I would choose a two cheeseburger meal (plain) with hot fresh fries and iced tea and of course a hot fudge sundae for desert!!  I know you are probably groaning right now thinking that out of all the food in this universe I would actually pick McDonalds, but yes I would!!  One thing that I have realized about myself is that I don't get sick of eating the same thing over and over and over again.  I don't like a lot of foods, but the foods that I like, I love! 

I just finished my morning snack - walnuts, strawberries and a little cheese.  Just before eating that snack though, I thought would try something new - a smoothie.  It's not that I have never had one before, it's just that I have never liked them before - apparently nothing has changed!!  I made this with milk, yogurt, frozen bananas and frozen raspberries and I mangaed to drink about three straw-fuls...ugh!  I want to like them, just the same way that I want to like coffee or wine or cream cheese - I just can't seem to! 

Excersie this week has been non existant!!  I have had a busy few days and evenings and haven't seemed to be able to squeeze anything in...though that is really just more of an excuse!  I could be walking up and down my basement stairs right now as babies stare at me through the baby gate!  I could be working out with Jane Fonda on the TV, trying not to trip over little people!  I could be out in this minus 30 degree weather pulling a toboggan full of kids, but instead I am sitting on my tush typing this while little children play at my feet!!  In all seriousness though, I really do have to get my butt moving! 

Speaking of butts, I did the most dreadful thing at Wal-Mart last night....I had to buy new underwear!!  I don't know why it's always so embarrassing to buy those darn things but let me tell you, I hide them under all my chicken breasts and scrapbook supplies when I buy them!!  There must be a lot of women out there wearing same undies as me because they never seem to have my size in stock!!  Similar with the way I eat, I like to wear the same underwear over and over and over again...the type, not the pair!  Anyway, last night was no different than any other trip to the big blue store, as they were completely out of my size in the style that I like!  So began the search for some new panties...oh, there were so many to chose from:  Hanes, Fruit of the Loom, George, etc., and then came the styles - bikini, thong (no thanks), boy short, brief, etc.  Here I  was, lost in sea of cotton and had no idea what style, size or brand was going to fit me best!  Finally after about 15 minutes I decided on the Hanes her Way hi-cut briefs in the six-pack.  When I brought them home I took them into the laundry room to wash them and as I was unwrapping them and throwing them in my washing machine I couldn't help but think that they were HUGE!!  I kept thinking that my butt (more than that, my hips) couldn't possibly be that big!  As the new undies were washing and drying I went to soak in the tub and when I got out I went to put on a nice warm new pair and guess waht...they weren't that huge anymore!!!  Either they shrunk a lot in the wash or my butt and hips ARE that big!!  I wore one pair while I slept but as soon as I got up this morning I couldn't wait to get them off!  They are more like bikinis in the way they sit so low and more like full briefs in the way they cover so much of the hips.  Perhaps I read wrong and bought Bikini-Briefs instead!!  I think I will go in search of my tried and true panties this weekend when I go to the big city!!

SJ