Life Lesson Learned!

I learned a very big lesson in life today!  After dragging up to six kids to dance class every Monday, from September through April, so Grace could take her lessons, she decided at literally the last minute, that she was not going to go on stage at the recital today!  The lesson I learned is to never put my kids in something that I think they would benifit from, but instead let them tell me exactly what it is they want to do.

Today was not the best day for this to happen either (not that there would really be a good day for it), as I am surviving on about 4.5 hours of sleep as we didn't get home until past 2:00 a.m. from our trip.  Grace did not seem to be in any kind of mood to do anything that involved other human beings today, but we had to get to the recital on time, so I fed her, packed her up and grabbed her costume.  I realized when I arrived that all the other little girls in her group had curly hair and Grace still had straight, so I found a teenage girl I know and asked if she could lend me her curling iron...instead, she curled it for me!  Once she was in her costume (and let me tell you, she looked so stinkin' cute - not that you will ever know because she would NOT allow me to take any pictures of her), we went out to find our seats so that she could watch the other dancers until it was her turn.  My Dad and brother came, Natalie showed up and the dancers began.  Grace's class was first after the intermission, and she kept asking me when she got to go on the stage and I kept her updated.  She was so excited about going on...until she scraped her arm on the way down the stairs and that was the beginning of the end!  At this point, I am already annoyed at almost everything because I was so tired and I was just counting my blessings because of the fact that Grace seemed so willing and excited to dance today, but once that scrape happened, I knew it was giong to go down hill from there.  I kissed it better and told her it would be okay.  We followed the rest of her class down the stairs and met up with her teacher backstage.  Once they started lining the girls up, Grace just grabbed onto my hand and said she wasn't going on!  Miss Ellen, the teachers helper, said that she didn't have to go on if she didn't want to, and this was my response: "Don't even give her that option!"...but there was no way she was going on!  Miss Sam (teacher) and I carried her across the stage - in front of the entire audience - just to get her to the correct spot and I told her I would sit right in the front row so she could see me.  She was stuck like glue to me and Miss Sam finally pulled her off of me and I told her I would be waiting right there for her when she was done.  The announcer said that the Preschool Creative class was coming on next and as they all filed out I held my breath.  She never appeared...at all.  I would have been happier if she at least came out and just sat on the stage glaring at the audience, at least then she would have made all the time and effort we put into the year a little bit worth it.  I am not sure what emotion I should have been feeling, but I was really just mad at her then.  I walked with all the other moms to pick up our kids backstage and they all gave me that look of: I-know-just-how-you-feel-and-it-is-okay-that-she-didn't-go-on-stage-so-don't-feel-bad.  Guess what, it's not okay!  If I was the only person who had bothered to go and watch her, then it wouldn't have been so bad, but I can imagine my Dad has better things to do on a Sunday afternoon than sit for two hours to watch girls dance when the only one he came to watch doesn't even go on!!!  I told her I was very sad about the fact that she didn't dance (I tried my best not to get mad at her), but I know she could tell how I was feeling.  It doesn't help though when she just gives me that look of hers when she doesn't like something (you know the look if you know Grace!), so I decided that I would make her realize that it is not okay to just decide not to do something like a recital at the end of the year and I told her that I was planning on taking her for ice-cream after she danced, but that would no longer happen.  I know that might sound a little cruel, but I really was ticked off at that point!!  She bawled her eyes out all the way to the truck and once we made it home and she came in the house, she took her costume off in the mudroom, headed for her bedroom got her pj's on and grabbed her blanket.  I told her I was more sad than mad, but I also told her that her dancing career is officially over!!

I remember about 13 years ago I went through a very similar situation with Natalie her first year of dance (she only danced for two years).  She did end up going on stage, but I had the exact same feeling of being on the verge of tears because nobody else's kid is acting that way!  And it really doesn't matter how many women try to tell you that "she will go on next time", because guess what ladies...there will not be a next time! 

Lesson learned!

SJ