Oh internet, how I missed you so!

Have you ever wondered how reliant we have become on the internet?  I had to go without it all day yesterday (and a few hours the night before) because we don't have our own internet connection - we share with my dad (he's my neighbor) - and sometimes we just don't have a connection and can do nothing about it!  I have bugged my husband many, many times about getting our very own internet connection, but he always says it's too expensive when we can get our for free - grrr!!  For the most part I don't care that we don't have our own, but it's kind of like air conditioning, you could care less if you have it for 361 days a year, but on those four days that you just can't stand to be in your house you are begging for it!!  A person really doesn't realize how much we rely on having that internet connection until it's gone (but you still have a computer sitting in front of you that just can't connect).  Everytime I walked past my computer yesterday I would check to see if it was working - and it never was.  Finally, when it worked very late last night, I kicked my teenage daughter off the computer so I could "just check Facebook", and guess what?  I had NO new notifications, NO new messages, only 312 updates that I could really care less about (no offense if you posted one of those 312)!  I read about the woman I know who cooked, did laundry and took her kids to their activites all in the same day; I read about the guy who went ice fishing; I read about the woman who's baby had poop all over her pj's; I read about the girl who's boyfriend dumped her.  I COULD CARE LESS...but I keep coming back for more!  I know I am not alone in this, I know that millions of other people feel the same way, but for some reason we can't seem to pull ourselves away from our computers.  I am guilty of putting all my dirty laundry on Facebook for the world to see (or atleast my 64 friends) and am guilty of enjoying the feedback I receive from all those who see it.  We are all a little narcissistic if you ask me.  There are a couple of "friends" who I keep on strictly for entertainment value - they have the most ridiculous status updates, but I can't seem to get rid of them!  I have left Facebook twice and have got sucked back in both times...I have changed accounts and got rid of friends...I just can't leave though; I am hooked - it's nickname "crackbook" was given for a reason!!

I have found another computerized machine (well, two actually) that I am totally addicted to right now!  I got a brand spanking new washing maching and dryer last weekend!!  You may not think that is anything to write home about, but let me tell you how much I love these things!!!  First of all, they are BEAUTIFUL - Midnight Blue - front loaders with pedestals and they look so good in front of my yellow laundry room walls!  Part of the reason I love these so much is because I waited a darn long time to get them!  We built a new house three years ago and I really wanted to leave our old set in the old house, but my husband said we can't afford new machines when we have so much else to pay for (he says this a lot), so I waited with bated breath for the day when I would get my new set - I know many women would tell me that they went their whole lives with the old set I had, but I am just on the edge of "Generation Me", so I will admit to being a little bit selfish with this profound want of mine! I would go into Sears and walk around the appliance department fantasizing about filling these big machines with all my towels and socks and undies - do you have any idea how many towels you can fit into these monstrous machines?!?! - and dreaming that one day I would press buttons instead of cranking knobs to turn them on.  Well, that day finally came, after we decided to forgo one of my closest friends destination wedding, we had enough money to buy the machines (according to Greg we don't actually) and we went down to Sears to look at what was available.  They are all computerized - buttons that play jingles, flashing lights to signal what stage they are at, timers on screens to show the countdown to clean clothes. 

Am I in love with these magnificent machines?  Yes, I am! 

Laundry has become a new hobby of mine thanks to these fantastic machines!

Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I am not very good at using computers - besides the basic emailing or Facebook checking!  I can't use Excel to save my life - if you put a gun to my head and told me to make you a spreadsheet, you might as well just pull the trigger!  I don't like it when things go wrong with my computer because I haven't the foggiest idea how to fix it, and I have found that just the slip of a finger can make something go terribly wrong with a computer.  What amazes me though is the young kids who can use these computers with ease by the age of 2...take my youngest child for example, at 3 years old he can start a computer, log on, select a webiste and navigate his way through it like he has been doing this for twenty years!  Can you even imagine what these children are going to be like whent they are adults??  My teenager can type so fast it makes my head spin and of course I am sure she knows things about the computer that I didn't even know existed; There are many, many things on the computer that I hope she doesn't yet know exist!!! 

Well, I should probably get my butt up from this computer and make my kids some lunch so I can nourish their little brains, so they can become brilliant computer programmers when they grow up and make lots of money so they can take of me when I am old!

SJ

Motherhood...a very competitive sport!

I have been thinking a lot lately about how we as mothers seem to compete against eachother (usually without even realizing it) instead of rallying around eachother.  I have a very unique perspective when it comes to motherhood; My oldest daughter is 17 years old - older now than I was when I had her - and my youngest is 3 years old, with a 5 and 7 year old in the middle of them.  Not only have I had 17 years of parenting under my belt, I have seen how parenting has changed since the dawn of the internet and how it changes when you go from being a working mom to a stay at home mom.  I have had my fair share of playdates and I am pretty sure I can tell you how each woman I know gave birth: epidural, c-section, long labour, big/small baby, etc., etc., because that always seems to come up when a group of pre-school age mothers are sitting around a room!!  We also seem to feel the need to compare all of our children to the other kids in the room - she was talking by 9 months, he was walking by 13 months, ate nothing but organic homemade baby food, wore cloth vs disposable, didn't drink juice until 2 years old, doesn't watch any t.v., can speak spanish (not becasue of Dora though, cause there is no t.v. for little Johnny), and the list goes on and on and on.  It can be overwhelming trying to keep up with whats the new and best way to parent your child.  God forbid you admit to spanking your child, giving them kool-aid in a sippy cup and letting them watch t.v. for two hours so you can watch Dr. Phil and Oprah!!  Those who know me well can tell you that I have a pretty laid back attitude to raising kids - my three year old isn't potty trained yet and still has a soother when he feels the need - but I think they will also tell you that I have a very happy home where there isn't a lot of pressure for children to be anything but children and it's okay to make messes, have fun and do what all children are supposed to do - just play!! 

I mentioned how the internet has changed the way we parent...you have no idea how much unless you were a parent before the internet!  I remember when Natalie was born - 1993 - and I think the internet was actually around, but nobody really new because you were lucky to have a computer in your house let alone   in your pocket or purse - heck, the only cell phones then were tucked away in gigantic bags on the floor of a few vehicles.  As a mother back in "those days" (I can't imagine being a mother in the '80's!!) we had to rely on the women we actually new in person - not facebook, not on blogs, not anywhere in the world wide web - just our own mohters, friends, community.  If we had a question because our child had a fever, we went to the doctor; if we needed to know when to start them on pablum, we asked our mothers (it was about 4 months old back then); if we needed to know what kind of carseat fit best, we went to the health unit...we didn't have thousands of different sites to look on!  Since I had Mark (seven year old) I have checked more websites containing information about baby food, carseats, strollers, fevers, immunizations, diaper rash, than I care to even think about!  The internet has also had one HUGE effect on us that has changed the way we parent our children...it has created a world where we are so scared of everything and everyone.  It seems that no child can go to their neighborhood playground alone or walk to a friends house two blocks away because there might be a stranger ready to snatch them up or hurt them in some way; I don't believe there are any more pediphiles or kidnappers in this world than there were 20 years ago...we just think there are because everytime you boot up your computer there is 24 hour news coverage telling you that some poor child has been hurt or abducted (only thing is, it's the same news over and over and over again)!  I still believe our world is safe and our children should grow up with enough independence to make them independent when they grow up and really need to be!!

I know my way of doing things or my beliefs are not everyones cup of tea, but they work well for me and my family.  I think if we all accept that we are all different people in the same boat we could become a very powerful group of people - Moms - accepting, not competing! 

SJ

P.S. I vow right now not to talk about the birth of my children unless directly asked about it!!

Proof that I am a mother!

Happiness is all we need.

Well, it's been a little while since I last posted anything on here, but I am back!  I have been thinking a lot lately about happiness and what we do to try to reach it - or if we will ever really find it.  I believe happiness is staring us right in the face but we are too blinded by all the hoopla about skinny jeans and Jenny Craig to realize that what we have is all we need to really make us happy.

I have a blessed life - a husband who loves me exactly for who I am and what I look like; four of the world's greatest kids who love me unconditionally (and I think really love the fact that I am "soft" to snuggle with); parents (three sets) who have never once made me feel like I am anything but wonderful; sisters and brothers who are always there for me; friends who seem too good to be true; and then their are all the material things that I have but certainly don't need.  Who in their right mind wouldn't be the happiest person in the world with a list like that?  I have always been a happy person, however sometimes I think I talk myself into believing I would be happier if only I could weigh a certain amount.  Guess what?  One year ago I was in a weight loss class at Curves - thirty pounds ago!!!  I wasn't happy then because I thought I weighed too much, well if that is the case I must have severe depression right now!! LOL  Anyway, my point is that I am no longer going to be unhappy with myself when there is nothing to be unhappy about.  I will accept the fact that I can no longer fit into my smaller pants and go buy some bigger ones - because I remember my little sister saying once that anyone at any size can look good - as long as they dress to fit their size (I think Stacy & Clinton from TLC say the same thing).  Imagine how good I will look if I go to the store and accept the fact that I might have to move up to the next size and buy some really amazing clothes and have the attitude that I look darn good in clothes that fit!!

I must still have that certain something though because I was in Home Depot the other day with a part from my kitchen sink and as I was walking past the paint department a young man piped up and asked if he could help me and when I said no, I was simply here for my sink - not paint, he asked a couple more times in different ways if he could be of any assistance!!  Perhaps he is Sir Mix Alots half brother or something (go ahead and start singing)!!! 

I have also decided to change the name of this blog.  I think there are many other things in this world - my world in particular - that are interesting and worthy of writing about.  I have found this blog to be very theraputic in some ways (I guess it's like a diary) and enjoy adding to it.  I will still write about my weight loss, but will write more about life and all the happenings of my days as a mom, wife and woman.

SJ

Is my life really that boring?

Well you could say that this whole weight loss thing has been a big fat flop!  I have officially lost half a pound since starting...though I guess if you count the three I went up and down twice and the half that I have officially lost, I would be at 6.5...so I guess it's not as bad as it seems!  I have figured out why I eat so much all the time - I'm BORED!!  I am sure that about 66 million other women can say that same thing and if you know me and my world you might wonder how in the world I can be bored considering I have anywhere between 2 - 7 minors in my house at a time (8 this morning because the bus got stuck in the snow for an hour on it's way to my house).  If you ever watched Jon & Kate Plus 8 you may know that my world looks like this everyday:

 (we'll take an average of 5 kids)

25 plates full of food

25 glasses of milk, juice or water

20 diapers

4 naps (thank God)

625 toys to step on or over (and then pick up)

25 hand and mouth wipes

15 nose blows

4 soother searches

4 missing sippy cups

5 crafts (with glue, glitter and crayons)

2 dishwashers to unload/load

5 kids to dress up to take outside

5 kids to undress to come inside

3 baths (now we are into the evening with just my little kids)

1 ornery teenager

3 bedtime stories

3 teeth brushings

1 very big house to clean up

1 very tired mom

Anyway, in all of this excitement I do not see one single human being over three feet tall!!!  Yes, I do talk to people on the phone each day, but that is not the same as actually seeing the face of a human adult and talking about things other than poo and spilled milk.  My husband works very long hours and usually does not come home until we are just finishing supper or even working on the bedtime routine.  I have made the choice to stay home with my children and to open my house as a day home, and in no way am I saying that I am not happy with my choices, however I am sure that even an inmate in a supermax prison would tell you that being in general population is better that solitary confinement!  I love my job as a stay-at-home mom (and I have done it the other way where I worked outside the house) and I wouldn't change it for anything right now, I just get a little bored talking to myself and find that food seems to fill that void.

I am still very tired and still hoping the doctor will call to tell me he will up my Synthroid dose!  I might have to start drinking coffee and see what all the buzz is about!  My friend told me yesterday that she went to the gym in the morning the other day...not sure if that meant 5:30 a.m. or 8:00 a.m., and for a second I thought that I could start going at 5:30 a.m. and then I remembered that I can't even pull myself out of bed to walk on my treadmill in my basement at that time...did I seriously think I could get into town to work out??  I think I have to just get on track with the eating issue first and think about working out later!  In regards to the eating thing though, I really want to just be able to look at the freshly baked muffins on my counter and say 'no, I think I will just have an apple instead' or bake cookies with with kids and only have one; how do all the skinny girls do it?? 

I have been drinking my iced tea too much lately too.  I am addicted to it, just like people are addicted to smoking, drinking or drugs...mine is Good Host Iced Tea!!  I even had to have a friend pick it up for me and bring me some because I had too many kids to go to the store!  I know it's not good for me, but I can't help it - I drink it when I am thristy, I drink it when I am stressed, I drink it sometimes cause it just tastes good!  Oh, there are so many things contributing to my weight issues...maybe I just need a whole bunch of money to get some liposuction instead!  Perhaps I could get a reality show like Kate Gosselin with my umpteen kids and have someone make me over too!!

SJ

Blizzards

Yesterday I took my daughter to buy her grad dress!!  We drove to Edmonton and hit two blizzards - on the way there it was the snow kind, on the way home it was the Oreo kind!!!  Let me start at the beginning though...we left Vermilion at 10:00 a.m. and drove through some pretty yucky weather!  We stopped halfway at Tim Hortons for a pee break and a snack - a chocolate chip muffin - and thank goodness that we did because I didn't eat again until supper!  We arrived at Costco first before we hit the dreaded West Edmonton Mall...well, Costco was pretty much as dreadful as the big mall.  I am not sure how many idiots can fit in one giant parking lot at a time, but I think I counted about 100 yesterday!!  I should have had something to eat for lunch there because I was starved by the time we actually did eat - I will get to that in a bit though.

We arrived at WEM and since the weather outside was frightful (you can sing the rest of that song if you like) we decided that best place to park was in the covered parkade...along with the other 200,000 people there!!  We drove and we drove and we drove until we found a spot at enterance number 56 and the shop we were going to was at enterance 31 so I figured we couldn't be too far from it. HAHAHAHAHA!  I think we walked about three miles to get there (which was really probably a good thing after you hear about my supper).  We found the store we were looking for - Mina's Bridal and Prom (I really shouldn't be giving them any free advertising since they don't really deserve it) a teeny tiny little store with about 500 not-so-teeny-tiny prom dresses!!!  If you are claustrophobic, I don't recommend this store.  Anyway, my graduate-to-be tried on about ten different dresses with the first one being the one of course - I think every bride or girl looking for a prom dress should just take the first one they try on because it's Murphy's law that it's the one you will end up taking!  Anyway, after carrying 20 lb dresses back and forth through the throng of other dresses and walking 3 miles through WEM I figured a few calories had been burned; the thought slipped my mind though after I looked in the three way mirror in the store - are my hips and thighs seriously that big!?!?!  In case you are wondering, we left the store with a 20 lb dress in hand - it fit like a glove, and the thought of going back there terrified me, so I payed in full (a rediculous amount of money) and we took it home - and made our way back to the parking lot to go find some supper!

We stopped at the Outback Steak House for supper (YUM) and I was SOOOOOOO hungry I could have eaten my left arm, so as soon as the girl came around I ordered a ceaser salad to start; she then told us that she would bring the free bread out right away...oh ya, I forgot about the free bread!  So, I chugged my gingerale and scarfed down my salad and bread, and I was actually getting a little full at that point...but then she asked what we want to order.  Steak sandwich - medium - with fries and gravy of course!  When she brought me the plate and I cut into the steak it looked like I just the severed the cows artery!!  I asked her to take it back and cook it just a little more, so she took the steak on a little plate and left me with the garlic toast and fries...so I ate the garlic toast and most of the fries as I waited for the new steak.  She soon came back with an ENTIRE NEW MEAL!!  Here I was so full from my salad, bread, garlic toast and fries and I was staring at a big plate of steak, fries and garlic toast - so I ate it!!  I couldn't finish it all of course, but I did my best and let me tell you, I thought my stomach was going to explode!!  Any thought of dessert that I may have had was out the door at that point.  We left the restaurant with sore bellies and a long drive home, but at least the blizzard was over - the snow kind at that is.

At the half way point we pulled into the DQ parking lot for a pee break and the much wanted dessert.  Do you know they now sell mini-blizzards!  I am sure they are very cute, but in my hands I held a medium Oreo blizzard and enjoyed every bite of it!!  I haven't stepped on the scale yet this morning, but I am sure it is not going to greet me with any good news, which is probably the exact reason why I haven't stepped on it yet!  I will though and I will get myself back on track today.  No more trips to buy grad dresses for me for another 12 years and hopefully when we go back at that point two things will have happened:

1. I will not have these hips and thighs when I look in the three way mirror.

2. The style of the prom dress will change so it does not weigh 20 lb!!

SJ

Good Bad Day!

Well I have not had the best day today...in terms of eating that is; I had a day off today, went for lunch with my husband, went shopping, watched Dr. Phil & Oprah, so in terms of the day itself, it has been great!!  It started off good with my healthy breakfast but then lunch came and I went to a restaurant and ordered the steak sandwich with fries - and of course it comes with garlic toast - and I ate almost all of it!  I did consider ordering a salad too (ceasar of course) but then decided it would only add calories to my already ridiculously high calorie meal, so I skipped it!  I decided when I got home I would have just four Toffifee - can you even believe that I still have some left - plus a brownie and muffin.  I just made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and I am drinking my iced tea as I type, so like I said it's not that great of a day for eating!  It just happens to be that very special time in my month, so perhaps that is why I am feeling the need to eat everything in sight...or maybe it's just because it's Friday!

I also went to have my blood taken to have my Thyroid checked again - they will do this every three months for the next year - and I am guessing that they will call me next week and tell me that it is low.  I have been so tired I would guess I was pregnant if I didn't know better!!  Speaking of being tired, let me tell you about my day yesterday...FIVE little boys THREE years and under!!!  I love kids, love having kids, love having a day home, but there are some things that really are best on a casual basis...that is one of them!  The fact that I didn't lose even one ounce yesterday after chasing that many boys around my house all day long and eating like a champ makes me believe that my thryroid is just a little out of wack!  Just as a point of interest, not one of those five boys is potty trained yet!!  You can just imagine all the diapers I donated to the land fills in one day!!

Tomorrow is a very exciting day for me as I am taking my oldest daughter to look for a Grad dress!!  Perhaps I will burn off my Tim Hortons from breakfast by walking around West Edmonton Mall all day!!  The only problem with going to the city for a day is that there is food everywhere you turn and for some reason I can't turn down a nice restaurant at the end of a shopping day...and I can never seem to just order a salad at that nice restaurant, nor can I skip dessert!  I will get back to my diet on Sunday.

SJ

Are my hips really this big??

Here's a riddle for you - what happens to a women who is standing in line at Wal-Mart for 20 minutes with a rumbling stomach?  Answer: She succumbs to the the temtation only metres away...McDonalds!!!  First of all I would like to say that it is crazy for Wal-Mart to only have four tills open when it is so busy and second, why does McDonalds food have to smell (and taste) so good???  I worked at a McDonald for 7.5 years when I was young - starting at 14 years old - and never got sick of their food!  In fact, if I had to pick my last meal (you know, if I was on death row or something), I would choose a two cheeseburger meal (plain) with hot fresh fries and iced tea and of course a hot fudge sundae for desert!!  I know you are probably groaning right now thinking that out of all the food in this universe I would actually pick McDonalds, but yes I would!!  One thing that I have realized about myself is that I don't get sick of eating the same thing over and over and over again.  I don't like a lot of foods, but the foods that I like, I love! 

I just finished my morning snack - walnuts, strawberries and a little cheese.  Just before eating that snack though, I thought would try something new - a smoothie.  It's not that I have never had one before, it's just that I have never liked them before - apparently nothing has changed!!  I made this with milk, yogurt, frozen bananas and frozen raspberries and I mangaed to drink about three straw-fuls...ugh!  I want to like them, just the same way that I want to like coffee or wine or cream cheese - I just can't seem to! 

Excersie this week has been non existant!!  I have had a busy few days and evenings and haven't seemed to be able to squeeze anything in...though that is really just more of an excuse!  I could be walking up and down my basement stairs right now as babies stare at me through the baby gate!  I could be working out with Jane Fonda on the TV, trying not to trip over little people!  I could be out in this minus 30 degree weather pulling a toboggan full of kids, but instead I am sitting on my tush typing this while little children play at my feet!!  In all seriousness though, I really do have to get my butt moving! 

Speaking of butts, I did the most dreadful thing at Wal-Mart last night....I had to buy new underwear!!  I don't know why it's always so embarrassing to buy those darn things but let me tell you, I hide them under all my chicken breasts and scrapbook supplies when I buy them!!  There must be a lot of women out there wearing same undies as me because they never seem to have my size in stock!!  Similar with the way I eat, I like to wear the same underwear over and over and over again...the type, not the pair!  Anyway, last night was no different than any other trip to the big blue store, as they were completely out of my size in the style that I like!  So began the search for some new panties...oh, there were so many to chose from:  Hanes, Fruit of the Loom, George, etc., and then came the styles - bikini, thong (no thanks), boy short, brief, etc.  Here I  was, lost in sea of cotton and had no idea what style, size or brand was going to fit me best!  Finally after about 15 minutes I decided on the Hanes her Way hi-cut briefs in the six-pack.  When I brought them home I took them into the laundry room to wash them and as I was unwrapping them and throwing them in my washing machine I couldn't help but think that they were HUGE!!  I kept thinking that my butt (more than that, my hips) couldn't possibly be that big!  As the new undies were washing and drying I went to soak in the tub and when I got out I went to put on a nice warm new pair and guess waht...they weren't that huge anymore!!!  Either they shrunk a lot in the wash or my butt and hips ARE that big!!  I wore one pair while I slept but as soon as I got up this morning I couldn't wait to get them off!  They are more like bikinis in the way they sit so low and more like full briefs in the way they cover so much of the hips.  Perhaps I read wrong and bought Bikini-Briefs instead!!  I think I will go in search of my tried and true panties this weekend when I go to the big city!!

SJ

Rewarding myself

Yippee!  I did it, I followed the plan and I lost some weight!  Down three pounds - which actually takes me back to the same weight I was when I started this blog.  Well, I didn't make it to the gym yesterday, instead I went to the grocery store to stock up on some healthy food!  I bought some of the Weight Watchers Smart Ones meal - the Turkey Dinner is very good, the Thai-style chicken with rice noodles is okay (the chiken and sauce is really good, the noodles are so-so).  I bought some of those very expensive grapes because I needed some fruit that I new I would eat.  I have been very good today with eating too...sticking just to what I am supposed to eat.  One new thing that I have discovered I really like are walnuts!!

I have decided to something to motivate me a little more...reward myself for every 10 lbs I lose!  I had to really think hard about what kind of reward would be worth it.  I have decided to give myself $50 for every 10 lbs and when I get down to the last 20 lb, I will bump it up to $100 for each 10 lb.  With that money I will buy myself some new clothes (hopefully those will be summer clothes).  I think that will be good motivation!

SJ

Back on track!

I started my official first day with Weight Watchers today, and have to say I have done really well so far!  I have had to fight off some cravings and tell myself to just go find something to do!  I haven't even had any iced tea today; just a glass of milk with breakfast and water throughout the day!  I had a very emotional weekend, so that didn't help any and I am still feeling upset about the whole thing -which I am not going to get into here, sorry if you are curious.  Last night I dove right back into the Toffifee, but haven't touched them today and I don't plan to. 

My big plan was to start getting up at 6:00 a.m. to walk on my treadmill for half an hour before I have to start getting ready for the day...well, that didn't exactly happen!  When that alarm went off I just couldn't pull myself out of bed to walk.  I would like to say that it was just a bad morning, but really I just don't think I have it in me to get up and exersice that early!!  I am going to try to get to the gym this afternoon when all my day home kids have gone home, but we'll see if it really happens.

I was cleaning out my laundry room - and by cleaning it out I really just mean folding and putting away the piles of clean clothes in there - and I came across a pair of jeans I bought in Las Vegas a year ago and I couldn't believe how small they look (and they aren't even a really small size or anything, they were just from 30 lbs ago)!  Those jeans were what I needed to get me through the day and fight off all the cravings I was having!  Once I fit those jeans again, then my goal will be the jeans that are three sizes smaller in my closet!!!

I am on track now, and plan to stay on until the end!

SJ

Tipping scales

OMG!  OMG!  OMG!  Guess what I just did on this lovely Sunday morning??  That's right, I stepped on my scale and tipped it so far that I almost fell off!!  You know when you get to a certain point that you know you can go no further - kind of like hitting rock bottom I guess - well, that's where I am at now!  As of right now, I am officially on a diet!  I know I said at the begininning of this journey that I would follow no plan, go on no diet and pay nobody to help me lose weight....ya well, the scale didn't have those numbers on it then!!  Of course this is the day I am planning a big brunch for my sister (that is if they make it through all the snow drifts!) and I even bought croissants! 

What I am going to write next is not an excuse, but it sure doesn't help the situation either....I have a low thyroid (hypothyroidism) and I take a little pink pill every morning for it.  The dose is 175 but I have a funny feeling it might have to bumped up to 200.  I will call my doctor tomorrow to have it checked.  If you don't have a low thyroid, then you may not understand how much easier it is to gain weight and how much harder it is to lose it!!  Especially if it is out of whack and you need to up your medication dose.  One year ago we were in Las Vegas for six days (way to long to be in Vegas, by the way) and I gained seven pounds...which amazed me because all I did was walk and walk and walk - if you have been to Vegas, you will know exactly what I mean.  I was a little dissapointed in myself at the time, but then the landslide happened!!  I had no idea I needed to have my medication checked at time and in the following 3 months I gained 30 lbs!!!  Thas is a huge reason why I am at this point now.  I went to my doctor and had the test done and yep, we needed to adjust the meds.  I had it done again a few months ago and it was fine, but I think I will get it checked just to see.  The crappy thing about hypothryroid - besides always being tired and gaining weight - is that once you change meds, the weight that you have gained does not just melt away because your medication is the right dose...you then have to work (probably) twice as hard as the regular person to lose the weight.  Like I said, this is not an excuse becasue I do know that the amount of food I consume to the amount of calories I burn has more to do with it...I am just saying, it sure doesn't make it easy!

Speaking of food, have you ever taken a look at the Canada Food Guide and what they recommend we eat in a day?  I would like to know if it's a minimum or maximum kind of thing.  I will use the kids guide here because that is what I have posted on my fridge and I am farmiliar with it.  For boys/girls ages 6 - 8 here is what it says:

Recommended number of servings each day:

Vegetables & Fruit - 5
Grain products - 4
Milk & Alternatives - 2
Meats & Alternatives - 1

So, here is where I am very confused...let's take my seven year old son (who by the way is tall and lanky).  If I fed him according to the guide, he would have to stop eating everything but fruits and vegetables by lunch time (sometimes by first snack at school).  Here is his typical diet for a day:

Mark, 7 years old

Breakfast - 2 peices of toast with cheesewiz (2 grain products)
                - 1 glass of milk  (1 milk product)


Snack (school) - Muffin (1 grain product)


Lunch (school lunch) - Ham & Cheese sandwich on bread (1 meat, 1 milk, 2 grain)
                                - Grapes or Strawberries (1 fruit)
                                - Milk (1 milk)


Second snack (school) - Muffin or Cheese bun (1 grain)


Supper - Chicken, Carrots, Milk and I would offer him potatoes, but he hates them (1 meat, 1 vegetable, 1 milk)

Bedtime snack - Apple (1 fruit)

...and he would have about three more glasses of milk through the day (3 milk)

So, what that equals is:

Fruits & Vegetables - 3

Grain Products - 6

Milk & Alternatives - 7

Meat & Alternative - 2

So, to me that looks like a pretty good day of eating for a seven year old boy, but according to the Canada Food Guide he has gone over most of his recommened servings.  No wonder we are all so confused about what we are supposed to eat!

SJ

Sore tummy and sour grapes

I am sitting so comfortably in my bed right now typing this...though I should be moving my butt instead of sitting here!  As I mentioned a couple posts ago, I was going out for Chinese food and bowling.  First of all, I would like to say that bowling is not an easy sport!  We split our group of girls in two and played BINGO bowling, where you have to go as quick as you can to fill up your entire card.  It is not easy because for and entire hour (that is how long we had the lanes rented) we had to go, go, go!  My arms felt like they were going to fall off!!  And just in case you were wondering...I suck at bowling!!  Now, I should go back a couple of hours to the Chinese food...yummy!  I ordered an Onion Cake (yes, for all those who know me well, I said an onion cake!!), and a combo with chicken fried rice, chicken balls and sweet & sour pork that honestly could have fed three people; I didn't eat it all - there was no possible way that I could have.  After the bowling we made our way over to Boston Pizza for dessert where I had the Brownie Addiction (I understand why they named it that!).  I really don't think that all the bowling did anything for all the calories I consumed! 

Today I didn't do too bad in the eating department - probably only because my sister got snowed in at my other sisters house in Edmonton, so we didn't have our big family dinner - instead I had frozen pizza.  I had to go into town today to stop at the grocery store and the drug store, and of course they have all their Christmas chocolate on half price!  The only thing I like better than a half price sale is when Toffifee is what's on for half price!!  So, guess what?  You got it, I bought a box (actually 2 boxes, but who's counting!).  Let me just say right now that my stomach is not feeling very good because of all the Toffifee's I have eaten tonight!!  Then my in-laws stopped by the house and brought fresh (still warm) homemade buns!!  Do you remember what I said is the best thing in the entire world????  Fresh buns!!!  I only had one though, and I didn't touch the doughnuts they brought with them. 

Tomorrow is supposed to be my first weigh-in day with my new Weight Watchers membership and I haven't weighed myself since the day I signed up again.  I am not looking forward to stepping on the scale tomorrow morning because I am 99.9% sure it's no going to be good news....and who likes bad news first thing in the morning?  I told myself I would let myself have one last horrah before really following any plan, but now I am ready!  I guess eating 20 grams of Toffifee and having the worlds worst belly ache can pay off by making a person realize how ridiculous it is to eat this way!! 

I am going to set a goal for myself.  My goal is that in one week when I step on the scale (January, 16) I will be down 5 lbs!!  Maybe that's a little ambitious, but I am going to try!  I will also go to the gym at least 3 times next week.  I know I can do it if I set my mind to it!

One more thing just because I couldn't believe it myself...here at our one and only grocery store, the grapes were on for $8.25/lb - yes, you read that correctly!!  I didn't realize until I got to the till and the girl ringing my groceries through gasped when she put the grapes on the scale!!  My little bag of grapes rang in at $17.16!!!  Just in case you are wondering how this story ends...I told the girl she could just put those grapes right back on the shelf!!

Have a great night!

SJ 

Babies...nothing to do with weight

I must be having some kind of pre-period hormonal moment or something!!  I just got out of bed after listening to my baby (well, he is a three year old giant) breath next to me!  There is nothing like a sleeping baby!  I am just so sad that he is getting bigger...I really just want him to be my baby forever!  I think I have it in my blood - being a mom - (does that even make sense??), anyway all I have really ever known is to be a mom - for the last 17 years, half of my entire life, I have raised kids.  It is all I ever wanted to do (besides being a pediatrician when I was 11).  Do you know that I am the only day home provider in all of Vermilion who put "Infant" on their application for the age they would like to look after!  I get them too, I have had my fair share of babies in my house...but I wouldn't trade it and I love it!!  Anway, back to my breathing, sleeping baby (well, three year old)...I remember my Mom saying once that I will know when I am done having babies - guess what, I haven't had that feeling yet!  Too bad for me though because unless my husband goes and gets his parts put back together again, it's not going to happen for us!!  Lucky for me my sister is bringing two babies my way today!! 

Yesterday a friend of mine asked what classes I was going to put Will into playschool next year...I don't think I am!  He will go, but not until the year after.  He will turn 4 next winter and I am a big believer in keeping your fall/winter babies out of school until they are 5 turning 6 (starting kindergarten), with the exception of my nephew (H)...he's a smart little cookie!!  I could send him to playschool for two years, but I really just want to keep him home with me and keep him my baby for as long as possible!  He did give up his soother last week (yes, he still had a soother at 3) and in all honestly, I didn't mind him having it one bit!  He is still in diapers with no interest in the potty, and since I change about four other kids diapers everyday... what's one more!!  Anyway, in all seriousness, I know that he too will grow up - and trust me this kid will outgrow any of his siblings - and I will just have to keep on cuddling other peoples babies!  I am sure that once they are all grown up and my house actually looks like a house and not a preschool, I will have had that feeling of being done - and even if I still haven't had that feeling, my reproductive parts will be close to shutting down anyway!!

Well, now they are all awake - execpt for my 17 year old of course - and I have Dora the Explorer in the background, so my day will begin!!

SJ

P.S. I will update you all a little later about my Chinese food/bowling night.

What a weekend it will be!

I think I am coming down with some kind of cold...I just feel blah!!  When I feel like this I also feel like doing nothing...no laundry....no dishes....no sweeping....nothing but...wait for it.........eating!!!!  Yes, it's days like this when feel like crap that I just want to sit down with a good book and a bag of anything and munch!!  The good news is that I have acknowelged that feeling and can do something about it!  I ate a good breakfast today - peanut butter on one slice of whole wheat bread, banana and a glass of skim milk - and I just finished my snack - cheese string (the really good Armstrong ones - not the ones the kids eat) and three Whole Wheat Stone Wheat Thins crackers (those have replaced my ritz crackers).  Lunch might be a bit of a tricky one!  I have three little boys in my house today and I really don't feel like cooking some gourmet lunch, but more like hotdogs or pizza!  Hmmm, pizza?  I guess that I do have a leftover chicken breast in my fridge - chiken pizza with a little bit of cheese - mmmmmmgood!  Well, my day might have just gotten a little brighter!

I will let you know how good the pizza is later!

Yesterday when the kids got home from school, I let the boys decorate a chocolate cake they had made the afternoon before.  I had serious doubts about how this cake was going to turn out considering it was made completely by scratch by two seven year old boys!!!  Oh ya, did I mention it came from a 1975 kids cookbook?!  I had intentions of being a polite mother and day home provider and try a small piece of this cake....then I tried it!  OMG I honestly have never in my entire life tried any cake that was so good!!!  And trust me, I have tried a lot of cakes (how do you think I ended up at this weight!!) and this one takes the cake, no pun intended!  Needless to say, my small piece of cake turned into about four good size pieces!!

All my good intentions today might go out the window tonight when I join my friends for our montly get-togethers and go for the best Chinese food in town!  Mmmm, I can taste it already, a combo for one - chicken fried rice, sweet and sour chicken balls, lemon chicken (all that chicken should be a little bit good for me right??! LOL)...and I think I will try one of their onion cakes tonight too.  The only thing that might save me from packing on five pounds after my combo for 1 (which really could feed 3) is that fact that we are going bowling after!!  Last time we went bowling, I spent more time pumping loonies into the jukebox and gabbing with the girls than I did throwing any balls down the lane, but maybe I will give it my all tonight and try to burn off some of those calories!!

This weekend will also prove to be a challenge in weight loss as my big sister is coming here with her two month old twin boys and her four year old boy (and her husband too, of course).  Most of our family - myself included - has not yet seen them and they are making the 8 hour drive to come see all of us!!  Let me explain something about my family though...it's BIG!!  When you have a big family that means you have big events which always come with big amounts of food - good food!!  We will have supper at my Dad's house -Lasagna (with salad and garlic toast I am sure) on Saturday night, along with cake I told you about and a couple other desserts I will make and then on Sunday we will have brunch at my house and that will be a smorgesboard of wonderful stuff!!!  Yikes!!

Well, I am off to make my chicken pizza now!  Then I think I might try and get something done today and maybe I will carry umpteen loads of laundry back and forth through the house to burn some calories before the binging that this weekend will be begins!!

Happy Weekend!

SJ

What a week!

It is Thursday today...this whole week so far has been a terrible one for overeating in my life!  First of all let me tell you how good homemade buns are...as if you didn't already know though!!  I really just can't make them.  End of story.  I have a love of baking and a love of eating, unfortunately, I will have to give up a bit of one of those loves!  I know all the recipes that subsitute applesauce for sugar and that kind of stuff, but I think they taste just like they subistued applesauce for sugar...go figure! 

I know myself well enough to say that I can't just have a little, stop after one or just not eat it - I am in love with food!  Some people would laugh at that statement because most foods I can't stand, so let me re-phrase that - I am in love with: Iced Tea (the sugary kind), Bread, Buns, Cinnamon buns, Cookies, Tarts, Chips, Crackers, Popcorn, Cheese, Butter, Chocolate, Take-out of all sorts, etc., etc., etc.  Notice that fruits and vegetable are nowhere to been found on the list?  That's cause those are not what I crave (don't get me wrong I do like them) - actually I should add baby carrots to that list because they are a true addiction (one bag a day).  So, what it comes down to is that I find it very difficult to make myself eat healthy food most of the time and stop myself from eating the not so healthy food all the time!! 

I have also done something (for the fourth time in my life) that I said I would never do again - but I KNOW it works!...I joined Weight Watchers today!  I really thought I could do it myself, but I know that I can't.  I came to that realization as I sat in the indoor playground with a gaggle of kids and ate four muffins and half a bag of ritz cracker (would somebody please tell me why those things are so darn good?!?!).  I know Weight Watchers works for me - since I have done it three other times - I just need to stick to it long enough to lose all the weight I want to. 

I need to do this. I need to do this.  I need to do this.  I will do this!

SJ

I do believe in small miracles!!

Let me tell you about yesterday...I ate everything in sight!  It was just one of those days where I felt the compulsion to eat...everything from carrots to chocolate!  I made two batches of muffins and ate four of them, I had a couple handfuls of chips, only two chocolates though...my will power must have kicked in then!  I just kept of going and going and going...until I knew I had to stop!  I thought for sure I would gain a couple of pounds and be even heavier than I was when I started this whole thing...but here is were that miracle came - I LOST weight!!!  It was only 1/2 a pound, but that is better than nothing especially because of my eating habits yesterday!

Today I made it to the gym!!!!  When I got there there was only one other person - and maybe the most annoying person in this town (no names will be mentioned).  I didn't realize until after she left that I called her by the wrong name the whole time I was there!!  Oooops!!

Tomorrow is the first back at school and back to work for me (day home work) so I need to wrap my head around that and get organized in terms of meals again!  As you may or may not know I love the way Sandi Richard has created a system to get organized with meal planning, grocery shopping and eating meals as a family.  Today after I clean out my fridge and freezers I will pull out her books and plan my week of meals.  If you have never checked out her system go to her website and have a look: http://www.eatingforward.com/
You will not regret it, I promise!

SJ

Happy New Year!

The first day of a new year and guess what...I found those two pounds that I lost!!  At first I was a little upset with myself and for a fleeting moment I had a thought of just giving up (oh how many times I have done that) but then realized that it is just a bump in the road, and I will not give up! 

Last night I went out to my Grandma's house, only to drop off one child, and then took another one to the convinent store to buy pop and chips for our movie night at home!  I bought each child on small bag of chips and a bottle of pop...and one bag (big) of chips to share between me and G.  I dumped the chips into a bowl, ate a few handfuls (really only half the bowl was gone between the two of us) and had one glass of my iced tea (a total of two for the day).  Went to the gym yesterday, ate well...not sure where those two pounds came from, but that's okay...I will lose them again!!

Today I hope to get to the gym again and will drink lots and lots of water!  I have to get my Christmas tree taken down and my house cleaned up (all I got to yesterday was laundry), so hopefully that will burn a few calories!

SJ